Thursday, July 2, 2020

Congress: Britishers Ruled Us For 200 Years Then Why Can't Rahul Gandhi?

21 Apr 2019

The Election Commission is going to scrutinize Rahul Gandhi's Amethi nomination papers after various discrepancies in his candidature surfaced. In his educational certificates, Rahul Gandhi's name is mentioned as 'Raul Vinci' and his nationality in a company registered in the UK is mentioned as 'British'.

"If he is British, he is barred from fighting elections in India as per the 'Representation of People Act'!" said the lawyer who has filed the case against Congress President Rahul Gandhi.

BJP leaders have been very vocal with their objections regarding the disparities in Rahul Gandhi's nomination papers and have asked him to come clean about it.

Congress supporters, as usual, came out to defend their party President:

"What if he is a British citizen? Britishers have ruled us for 200 years! Nobody protested that time, then why now? You can let them rob India for 200 years and you allow Gandhis with just 60 years?" said Congress spokesperson.

"Rahul Gandhi's British citizenship is a non-matter. Even if he is British, don't forget that the Britishers gave us a lot. So what if they looted our country? Same applies to the Gandhis. Cancelling Rahul's nomination would be unfair!" said Guha, a self-claimed 'eminent' historian.

The eerie similarity between the Gandhis and the Britishers is undeniable.
- Both reigned India like it is their birthright to do so.
- Both plundered and looted India's resources.
- Both treated their subjects like slaves.
- From the administration aspect too, both implemented the 'divide and rule' policy to sustain chaos in the country.

The Congress culture and their ethos have the same old British flavours. Therefore Rahul Gandhi's citizenship is just a matter of a tag. Experts feel that given the 'Colonial hangover' phenomenon in India, especially among the Liberals, this is a plus point for Congress and may sway the elections in his direction.

Disclaimer: This article is purely intended as a work of fiction and constitutes satire.