Sunday, July 21, 2019

"Let's Just Buy Some Influencers And Call It A Day" Rahul Gandhi On Mani Shankar's 'Neech' Jibe

14 May 2019

After Sam Pitroda's "Hua Toh Hua" debacle, feeling rather left-out and craving for some attention, Congress leader Mani Shankar Aiyar came out with another foot in the mouth moments. Aiyar who had earlier called Prime Minister Narendra Modi as 'Neech' not only reiterated his statement but went on to call him 'foul-mouthed' too.

During 2014 elections, Mani Shankar Aiyar had mocked PM Modi's humble origins with the 'Chaiwala' jibe, which eventually went on to prove electorally lucky for BJP. Since then, BJP supporters on social media have been waiting with bated breath for Aiyar to open his mouth.

"The garbage that Mani Shankar Aiyar spews is literally and figuratively shit. It is a good omen for us just like getting crow droppings on top of one's head. We will win with a thumping majority!" said a BJP supporter.

Congress party leaders have levelled the choicest of abuses against PM Narendra Modi in the past with the Congress President Rahul Gandhi himself having referred the Prime Minister as "Chowkidar Chor Hai". Congress leaders have so far hurled more than 56 abuses at PM Narendra Modi, who ironically happens to be the most popular Prime Minister in the history of India. Defending this would be a big task. However, Congress has found a way.

Top Congress leaders held a party meeting in Rahul Gandhi's presence and after a marathon discussion that lasted for hours. After coming to no conclusion despite putting in hours, the Congress President left the meet saying "Let's just buy some influencers and call it a day!"

It was not a big deal for Congress who is known to fund various celebrities, media persons, comedians etc to attack the present Modi government. As per sources, Divya Spandana has already contacted a team of influencers including Swara Bhaskar & Kunal Kamra to tone down the comments of Mani Shankar Aiyar.

"Since elections are coming up and Rahul Ji & Priyanka Ji are busy, we have decided to defend Mani Shankar Aiyar through social media. Since its election time, our budget is limited so we have to make do with cheap resources, therefore we have assigned the project to Kamra & Bhaskar. If a higher budget is approved, we may hire Nidhi Razdan & Barkha Dutt also," revealed Spandana.

 Disclaimer: This article is purely intended as a work of fiction and constitutes satire.